U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
