Small penises have feelings too.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
