Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize