I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
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