Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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