Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
