my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize