'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
