why didn't you poke me back
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'm just crazy horny about you
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Randomize
