Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
