ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
