She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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