Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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