oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
