i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
