I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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