Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
