am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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