ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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