I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
