I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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