Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
