I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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