I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
