Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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