Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
