Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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