Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
