she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
