Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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