Your mouth is God's brothel.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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