he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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