I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
