I molested 6 butterflies tonight
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
