please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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