I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
