Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
