yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
