he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
