I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
