Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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