i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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