Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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