1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
