Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
