are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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