The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
