Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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