I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Randomize
