my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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