after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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