Define "chronic" masturbator.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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