Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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