'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
being pregnant is like rehab
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
