A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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