You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize