Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
